(no subject)

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

.
.
.
i'd rather not have pj think i'm obviously a shitbag.

yes, pirates raped many women.

What. The. Fuck.
Seriously though,
what?

"Jordan."
"Cassi."
"Kathleen."
What?
i know what i was saying.
i know why i was saying it.

Those cans have
been a good but
confusing friend
to me lately.

Michael was there for a short period of time.

Last night.
Last night left rows of cans next to her sink.
Last night left a hole in her tiny organic mellon.
Last night left spots of time out of my head.
Last night i slept in a bed with Jordan again.

i remember up to the mellon and tin foil,
and then a spot is missing.
i remember finding an empty cigarette box,
and then a spot is missing.
i remember racing up stairs, and winning,
and i think that's when last night ended,
because i won and got to cuddle Jordan.

Rides to pick up candles at black butte ranch.
Books and hair clips and flowers and she needs a mix tape.

You have other people. And that's fine.
That's great.
Because i do too.

(no subject)

"A TUMULTUOUS STRUGGLE
BETWEEN A FIERY TEMPTRESS
AND THE VIOLENT MAN
WHO SOUGHT TO ENSLAVE HER."


You made something out of me.
i don't like what it is though.

"This is a waste of summer."

At some point i stopped waiting around for you.
At some point i began finding out that i wasn't getting anywhere.
At some point i realized you were done.

"...and that's when smoking became fun."
"that's because your insides are bleeding."

i deleted your number.
But you know that's a lie.
i just moved it to another name that takes longer to find
figuring that by the time i found it i would realize you don't want anything.

i don't even recognize my own hands.

i like them, because i don't have to hold back as much.
i like them, because i don't have to always be quiet.
i like them, because i believe they are aware that all the times i say i love them they know it's not just juice, it's truth let slip more often.

You are like alcohol.
That doesn't mean i don't like drinking around you.


You don't owe it to me, but i would like one call.
You don't owe it to me, but i would like one conversation with reason.
You do owe me somethings though.
Because they are mine.


i've been feeling sadly affectionate lately.


Patriotic party favors made in China.
Horrible music.
Finding people.
Around.
Coffee.
Mascot kid from across the street.
Green lit trees.
Moths.
Missing doors.
Paint.
People.
Background noise.
Cut & paste.

i woke up and left.
i left a note.
i'm a bad girlfriend.
i miss you though.

(no subject)

Shut up.

Stop taking their words and forming them into some little idea you have of a highly personal inside joke. If you would listen, you could hear that everyone else has the same highly personal inside joke with them.

Tell me you don't want any of this fixed, and i will stop thinking about how it's not getting fixed.

No. i'm busy tomorrow.

There are certain names that have a difficult sound when i hear them, out loud or in my head.
There are times i tried to get past that feeling that accompanied the sound of their names, and spent time with the people holding some of those names.
Oddly, i don't speak to many of those people much anymore.
i always wished i could lengthen your names.
i always wish they wouldn't lengthen your name.

i have jordan's jacket on the back of my chair.

(no subject)

Um, we just saw Le Tigre. And Beck.


And some Bend kids headed the wrong direction.


And Le Tigre.
Did you know that Le Tigre was coming to Portland?
Did you know that there is a difference between GA and floor seats? There is. We got fucked.
They were cute.





I really want Mr. Miller to come back to my dream and tell me that Le Tigre is coming to Portland again, only this time as the headliner. Because that would be awesome.



Speaking of awesome.... Maria needs to call me.













We just saw Le Tigre.

(no subject)

So.


i didn't hear anything you said, so i won't do anything about it.




There was a long line of people.
We skipped it, and saw the cutest people, and a movie co-staring Ronnie the bear Weasle.
Tony should have been there.

If they still sell them, we are getting tickets, and we're not going back yet.